Wellness Blog
Associate Therapist, Lochleen MacGregor
After severe burnout, recovery can take years. This affects so many people and isn’t limited to one area of your life. You can be burnt out at work, or at home, with family or friends. You can be burnt out of any or all aspects of your life. Often there is no defining moment in which people get burnout. Sometimes there is a mental collapse in which the person feels that they can no longer function, and sometimes there are physical collapses in which the person ends up in the hospital because their body can no longer hold the stress. Both of those cases are extreme, but how do we prevent burn out?
Once you are aware of the symptoms you can take steps to change your habits and prevent burn out. Burnout can creep up on you so even though the ultimate result might be physical, emotional or mental collapse, the signs have been there for a while
Once you’ve determined you are on the fast track to burnout, start setting boundaries with the areas of your life where you are putting most of your energy and getting back the least. If you are working 60 hour weeks, cut back to your contracted hours and stay true to that boundary. Don’t be flexible. Your well-being is more important than making a deadline. Pick up a book on boundaries and practice how you want to word your boundary setting. There are a few different methods, but I find the traffic light analogy helpful. Start with a green boundary. Phrase your boundary in a short simple, kind way. Yellow boundaries are a bit more straight forward, and to the point. Phrase your boundary in a specific way and perhaps add a consequence. Red boundaries. Be blunt and makes sure that your boundary is understood. Follow through with any consequences that you have stated. Don’t back down. This is your boundary and you have to enforce it until the other person recognizes it, and accepts it. This could take time. Some people are very stubborn.
The use of your pictures or videos to threaten you and manipulate you. This can happen with someone you know, someone you trusted, friends, ex-partners, and online groomers. Definition of sextortion is the “practice of extorting money or sexual favors from someone by threatening to reveal evidence of their sexual activity” (Oxford Dictionary).
Find an activity that gives you purpose. This could be finding a small area of your work in which you find great value. It could be contributing to your community in a way that allows you to feel like you are providing meaningful change to your environment. Community involvement also allows for recognition and gratitude.
How do you deal with stress? Do you work out, meditate, do breathing exercises? Look for new ways to manage your stress. This could include writing out your emotions, doing some exercise, deep breathing, meditiation, or even counselling. This could also include working on your favorite hobby, such as baking, pottery or other creative outlets. Look for new ways to manage your stress.
Exercise can help alleviate your fight, flight, or freeze response by getting rid of some of that adrenaline that your body is creating as you get more stressed. It also increases your dopamine levels and allows you to accomplish something that is focused on you. It’s for your health and that self care can go a long way to showing yourself that you still care about you, even if other people aren’t giving you the care you need.
There is more to food that just consuming calories. When you eat mindfully it’s about being aware of what you are putting in your body. It doesn’ t always have to be healthy and nutritious. It’s good to have lots of veggies in your diet, and to maybe reduce the amount of red meat, but eating mindfully isn’t all about nutrition. It’s about paying attention to what you are eating when. If you have that bag of chips at 2 pm, also make sure to get some extra veggies in at dinner. Having that slice of cake can be food for the soul, as long as you are present and enjoying it in the moment. Take a step back from forcing yourself to eat “good food” and allow yourself some indulgences while still getting as many vitamins and minerals as you can.
There are 7 types of rest that your body needs.
Physical rest –when your body needs rest:
Mental rest – when your mind needs rest:
Sensory rest – your senses are overwhelmed every day, take a moment of sensory depravation
Emotional rest – step back from the chaos
Social rest – draining relationships
Evaluate your relationships – which are the ones that are draining? How do you feel after you spend time with that person? Energized or drained? If you are surrounding yourself with people who are negative or who require a lot of engagement from you but don’t give you that energy back, it might be time to take a step back from those relationships and focus on making new ones or rekindling old ones that make you feel energized and happy after spending quality time together.
Creative rest – brainstorming and creating can be draining. Sometimes you need to replenish your inspiration
Spiritual rest – not just for those who are religious
Telling others, you appreciate them often allows those people to reflect on why they appreciate you. This allows you to get some recognition for your support and work. Telling yourself that you appreciate everything your body and mind do for you, allows you to increase your confidence and reflect on who you are. Forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes. Showing yourself compassion allows you to change your outlooka on the world, and feel proud of what you have accomplished, even if no one else recognizes what you are doing. Give yourself time, care, compliments, and perspective. You deserve care and compassion. Just like you would extend grace to a friend, give some to yourself as well. Love, care, respect, and compassion are renewable resources, so make sure to give yourself some, when you give them to others.
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