I Never Met a Change I Didn’t Like…Except That One.

Do you know the one I’m talking about? The one that doesn’t have a name? And, you’re not quite sure how it happened, but you didn’t accept and you didn’t agree, and yet. It happened. That was that. Water turned wine except the wine was vinegar and it stung as it trickled down your throat, all the way down.

I know you know the one. The change that rocked your world upside down. Maybe you’re still living in its shadow. Maybe the shadow went inside and you can’t figure out how to hide from it, run from it, embrace it, throw it away, shake it off, make it stop; make it go away. But it won’t. The shadow won’t stop penetrating your heart and yet you still have to breathe. Just breathe. Just keep breathing until the pain goes away, or at least, lessens a little. Let’s you figure out how to stand back up without shuddering. You wonder how it happened. If you missed the warning signs- there had to be some microscopic shifts, why weren’t you paying attention? Does it matter anymore? This is life now. Is this still life? Has it only just begun or does it end like this? Where do you go next?

It depends. Depends what you want. Do you want to numb the pain or do you want it to grow you up? You see numbing the sorrow doesn’t make it stop and it doesn’t make you strong. But it does suck the joy from every smile and every sigh and sometimes it means we just have to make it ‘till we cry out the raindrops that illuminate the sky. Let that change become something that means anything at all and that change you met- the one you didn’t like. You’re never going to like it, but will it guide you, define you, or refine you?

Only time can say, and when the shadow lessens, just a little bit, decide what you want to do with it and how to say ok. Change, I guess you’re here to stay and so today I’ll meet you here, and tomorrow somewhere else. I don’t have to like you, but maybe I don’t have to hate you either. Maybe change just happens, and I just keep moving on.